Saturday, August 1, 2009

Just Asking for Another Fire

Originally Posted 12-2-08

First, to clear up any issues from the last post.


Joey and Rachel ended up moving their phone base. I don't know where it is now, but they finally realized that it didn't belong smack dab in front of the microwave. They could keep it on top of the microwave, next to the coffeemaker, but there always seems to be crap up there. Different crap, too. I don't get it, but okay.


I don't remember where we stood on the Monica's phone situation. I think we saw both the straight-back and the curvy-back. They're back to curvy-back now? I don't know. I can't tell.


Phoebe is still displaying her 2000 bookends, even though it's 2001. See? This is what happens. Don't buy decor that can only be displayed for 366 days. Even if it is a nice round number like 2000, when next January rolls around, you'll end up looking silly.


Backing up a bit, Phoebe is able to move back into her apartment after a fire. I don't remember exactly how the fire started, but it was a direct result of Phoebe or Rachel's negligence. Do landlords really let you move back in after causing a fire. True, it was accidental, but I can't imagine a property manager saying, "Okay, we'll fix this place up after the fire you caused, and then we'll get you back here as soon as possible." P.S. A few episodes after she moves back in, Phoebe destroys her smoke detector and throws it down the trash chute. Anyone going to step in and say something to her? About how that isn't really putting fire safety on the top of the priority list, not even taking into account that she should have already been black flagged as a fire risk? No? That's cool. Central Perk's not going to say anything to her, why should her property manager?


While Phoebe was getting away with stuff uptown (or where ever she's never really established), Charlotte was downtown after having what was supposed to be a one-night stand with Joey.

Okay, really, it's just Kristin Davis...not as Charlotte York. It kind of made me think...

Would any of the Friends sleep with any of the characters of Sex and the City?

(The camera is supposed to follow that last sentence as it was being typed, like in the show.)

I doubt that Charlotte would sleep with Joey. He's not refined enough for her. She might date Ross or Chandler could have done a 2-episode arc as Charlotte's date, but that would end up not working.

Samantha would sleep with Joey, but their relationship would be purely physical. Really, she's used to nice things, and he's, well, Joey. I cannot see Ross or Chandler making any kind of connection with Samantha. They would probably find her scary or wouldn't be able to handle them.

I can't imagine Miranda touching Joey with a ten-foot pole. Miranda and Chandler could work, but not for anything long. I think Miranda and Ross could be together a bit longer.

Carrie is the only one who I could imagine would date, or even sleep with, all three of the guys. But it would only last for one episode each.

I can see Big with either Rachel or Monica. Rachel would probably be a better match. It's just as well, Monica could end up with Steve, while Phoebe would end up with Aiden.


Rachel's been diddling her personal assistant, Tag, which seems like a great career move. Coincidentally, Eddie Cahill also appeared in an episode of Sex and the City in a "Ohhh, people in their 20s are way different than people in their 30s" episode.

I have to point out an unfair double standard among the Friends. Ross dates a student, which is admittedly a bit icky, and everyone makes jokes that he's robbing the cradle and how he's putting his career in jeopardy. Rachel dates her assistant, who is maybe a few years older than Elizabeth, is still someone that could get her fired. No jokes. Or very few jokes, anyway. Not even a "Hey, remember last year when you made fun of me? Yeah, shut up, then," from Ross.

Back to this picture. What really caught my attention in this picture is the leaf on the corner of the wall. It's never established what floor this apartment is on, but it's a couple of flights up.

What is that lone leaf doing there? How did it get up there? The external shot of the building doesn't show a tree high enough to reach the terrace. However, at the same time, the external shot of the building doesn't show a terrace at all. I imagine some prop master put that leaf there to show that it was fall, and figured that no one would bother wondering how it ended up there.


Later in this scene, Tag is able to point out his car as it was getting stolen. (Get it? Because NY is so ridden with crime...even in the era of Rudy Giuliani.)

First, what are you doing in NY with a car? You really don't need a car. I imagine Tag lives in Manhattan. There is no basis for this, except for the fact that he's a character in a TV show, which means that he lives in a place that a personal assistant wouldn't normally be able to afford in real life. This means he either has a really nice place in Brooklyn, a luxurious place in Queens, or a regular old place in Manhattan. Either way, he's within walking distance of a subway station. No need for a car.

Also, even if he does have a car, he got a pretty kick ass parking spot if he's able to see it from the apartment. I know how it is. I've lived in a big city. If you score a good parking spot, you tell everyone about it. It's the first thing out of your mouth when you walk in. It's a feat of insane luck.

I know, I'm making a Yogi Berra argument here. "No one drives in NY there are too many cars in NY." It's actually true though. You don't need a car in Manhattan. I've never actually lived in Manhattan, but I can imagine that it just becomes a nuisance after a while. MetroCards fit in your wallet. It's easier to worry about that.


David's back from Russia. Minsk, Russia, to be exact. And to be even more exact, Minsk is in Belarus. Belarus and Russia had, at this point, been different nations for almost a decade.

Details, whatever.

Of course, he's only around for one night. I'm not really sure why they would bother bringing him back if it's just for one episode. However, I'm not on the writing staff of an insanely popular sitcom, so who am I to ask such questions?


Later on, a scene opens with David having already hailing a cab. He and Phoebe and having a really long goodbye. It's probably not that long, except you have to consider that the meter is running. Maybe I'm just a cheap bastard. However, the meter probably racked up a good fifteen to twenty dollars before he even got into the car.

In another episode, Ross is invited to a cousin's wedding. Monica is not invited. We don't immediately know why. Their parents are invited. We don't see them there at the wedding, but we're told that they are, so we have to pretend that they're there when they do take us to the wedding. Needless to say, Monica is upset.

Later on, someone feeds her the line that space is limited. If I were a character in this show, I would have written this off as complete B.S. Just a line being fed. A sad excuse. I assumed it was.

Yet, when we are taken to the reception, we are shown...


A sign, laying out what the maximum occupancy is. The sign is right at eye-level just to the right of the main exit. Yes, I think the law says you have to display that in a conspicuous spot. But eye level right next to the main exit? It's almost as if it's there to illustrate the fact that the cousin really wasn't lying. Space really is limited, and if Monica has a problem with that, then she can take it up with the fire marshal.

Given how lenient the city was with Phoebe for throwing her smoke detector down the trash chute, I'm guessing that no one would really care if Monica pushed the number up to 326.

It turns out that the story about space being limited really is B.S. The real reason was because the cousin was marrying Stuart.


Yeah, remember Stuart?

No? Well, apparently Monica slept with him at some point. Not in the last six years or so. I'm not quite sure why they couldn't get some semi-serious ex that we're familiar with. It can't be Richard, because then it would be something else completely. Hell, they could have even brought back the guy from Season One who keeps his watch on during sex.

It's not until Ross says, "It's not what you did, it's who," do we figure out what is going on.

So, what kind of person is Monica's cousin? She apparently ends up marrying an ex-boyfriend/one night stand of her cousin. Instead of telling Monica, she just goes on with the wedding, inviting Monica's parents and brother. Did she really think Monica would never find out who her cousin was married to? I mean that's years of lying to your cousin. Eventually, another relative is going to die or get married, and the cousin is going to have to show up to some family function with her husband. Whatever, maybe the cousin is just an idiot.

Also, some set designer had to install a maximum occupancy sign for no reason.


In other news, Sugar frontman Bob Mould will be performing at some point in the near future. That's nice to know.


Ross is upset that people are having sex in the section of his library where his book is. I have to admit, I liked this plot line. I remember when I was in college, I thought it would have been cool to have sex in the library. It's a huge building with countless sections that gets no traffic. Unfortunately, I was unable to find anyone who was interested in having sex with me in the library or anywhere else on campus, including my own dorm room.

I thought the guy who played the librarian looked familiar. It turns out he wasn't in anything that I would have recognized him in. I did, however, find out that he appeared in an episode of According to Jim. He was credited as "Queer Guy."

Really, According to Jim? Queer Guy?

That's another kind of awful, on top of the original charge of awful that comes with being an episode of According to Jim.


Well, back to Ross. He later gets in trouble for having sex in the section of the library where his book is kept. We hear Ross tell his little friend that he had skipped the fourth grade. I don't think that's true, though. I'm pretty sure that Ross graduated a year before Monica. If he had skipped a grade, then that would have meant that he and Monica started school the same year. Are they "Irish twins?" Why would their parents agree to let one kid skip the fourth grade and leave the other one behind?


Well, if Ross actually did skip the fourth grade, it's very clear that he didn't pass on the "skipping fourth grade" gene to his petulant spawn, Ben. The kid is almost six-years-old, yet he can't recognize his own father in an armadillo costume. To Ben's defense, the kid almost never sees him. Ross isn't necessarily a dad that is always there, considering this is Ben's third appearance for the entire year—the first of which being in The One That Could Have Been, the fantasy episode, therefore it didn't really happen.


Just a quick note, for reasons that have place in the world of logic, Netflix says that the next disc will be a Very Long Wait. I find this extremely hard to believe.


All of the other future discs are available now, and I didn't have to wait long for any of the past discs. None of the other past discs even came from other facilities. They were all local. Why is Netflix short of this one particular disc of one of the most popular sitcoms of all time? I don't know.

Point is, there may be another delay in this project, so please bear in mind that it isn't my fault this time. In the meantime, I'm going to try to see if I could get my grubby mitts on this next disc without having to step foot in a Blockbuster. It looks like I'm going to enjoy Season 4 of Entourage.

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