Saturday, August 1, 2009

Moving & Annulment Day

Originally Posted 9-7-08

Green is the official color of Season 6. Something was wrong with the DVD, so the digital lines added to the green skies hovering over Manhattan makes it look like something out of The Matrix. I don't know if that's a worthy comparison or not. If not, I probably come off like some old guy trying to sound cool. Nothing could be further from the truth. I learned long ago that nothing I can say could ever make me sound cool, so I have given up that ghost for a while now.

I was fully prepared to watch an entire DVD with those screwy lines. When you're in the middle of a holiday weekend, the Netflix process stops for an extra a day. I wouldn't have gotten a replacement for a few days. It really wasn't worth it to wait. Luckily, this problem only affected the menus.

As per usual, this season begins with the same scene that ended the previous season, thereby ensuring that the characters never know what summer actually is. They must get confused when they watch Grease, and the cast breaks into Summer Nights. They know what nights are, but summer? Foreign concept.

While in Vegas, Chandler & Monica were freaking out, only it was that sitcom freaking out where they both feel the same way, but they don't want to let the other person know because it might upset them. They say that if they were really supposed to get married, there would be a sign.

Cue the elevator doors opening on a priest reading the Bible.

Why would anyone read in an elevator. I imagine if you had a newspaper, and you were reading a blurb on the cover, you could read that in an elevator. But a book? By the time you find your place, you're at your floor. And it's a priest with the Bible. He should be pretty familiar with that by now, not needing to bone up on the half of a sentence he's able to get in during a short elevator ride, don't you think?

In what could have been the beginning of a frightening pattern, the second episode of the season began with the same scene as the previous episode. Ross agreeing to get the annulment, and they hug. I guess that's a good concept, but it's a little much for Friends.

During the summer of '99, Courtney Cox married David Arquette. Credit wackiness ensues the following fall.

Cox's longer last name isn't the only change this season.

Monica got a new phone. So long, two-toned flat back with a sticker on the bottom of the back. Hello, new curvy-backed model.

I mean, one would assume that someone keeping a cordless phone for longer than 2 1/2 years wouldn't be quite a feat, except they were averaging a different phone each year. For whatever reason, Monica decided that it was time to get a new phone. We don't know what goes on in her head when she makes these decisions. We just have to go along with this character's quirk, even though it's never explained or pointed out.

Meanwhile, across the hall, the boys finally get rid of their extraneous microwave. I'm not sure if it was Chandler, who finally came to his senses one day and put the superfluous appliance up on whatever the precursor to Craigslist was (newspapers? Don't ask me, I can't imagine a world without Craigslist). Or if it was a set builder who had the epiphany of, "Hey, why am I mounting a microwave when there's already one on the counter?" Either way, Chandler and Joey are slumming it, living as a one-microwave household.

Really, you don't need more than one. It's not like a TV. If you want to watch something, but someone wants to watch something else, you need two TVs. If you want to nuke something, but someone wants to nuke something else, then that second person needs to wait a few minutes. The air of necessity isn't really there to warrant multiple microwaves. I'm glad Chandler and Joey figured this one out...eventually. It took two years, but better late than never, right?

New posters were put up outside. This is advertising the New York Marathon, which are to take place on Sunday, November 7th. I have no idea if this is 1999's New York Marathon, but I do know that November 7th did take place on a Sunday that year.

I'm unable to tell the Mario Cuomo poster is still up. I'd be kind of sad if it was taken down. It already lasted this long. It's not like having up during most of Season One made sense, either. Just leave it up.

For the first time since they were born in the previous season, we see the triplets that Phoebe carried. That's nice, that they're finally being mentioned and seen again.

At what age are you not allowed to show butt? Obviously, baby butts are allowed. I'm not sure why, but they are. Obviously, you can't show a child's butt, because then it's creepy. Chandler Buffay is about a year old, so it's sometime after that, but pretty soon after that, I imagine.

What's the actual cut-off? I want an age. 18 months? That sounds reasonable, yet arbitrary.

Throughout these episodes, Rachel is in the process of moving out. Boxes are shown around the apartment to show this. In the middle of the living room, there's a box labeled "Hats & Scarves." That's fine. They're accessories, so they can go share a box. My issue is with the sheer volume of hats and scarves that Rachel has supposedly accumulated in her lifetime that requires a waist-high box. It's surprising, especially since you don't really see her in hats and scarves all that often. A box this size would have to belong to a genetic splicing of Stevie Nicks and Blossom Russo.

Moving boxes are expensive. Or at least more expensive than you would think they would be, and more expensive than they need to be. The moving box people have us all in a tough spot. What are we going to do, not move?

Joey seems to have gotten his hands on a bunch of boxes, and instead of giving them to Rachel or Chandler, who are moving, he constructs a fake Porsche to put under a cover. This is a pretty complex project. Some of the boxes have curved sides, to account for the fact that it's not a fake Volvo or Scion under the cover.

I realize it's a show, but there's no way Joey did this. Figure in real life, the amount of time and effort that the props department put into this. Did anyone working on this mention to anyone that it was doubtful that Joey doesn't have the time, money or know-how to do any of this?

He had to have built this in his living room, and then taken the car down to the street, box by box. He somehow managed to find a decent parking spot. It must have taken him a while to rebuild the car on the curb, and I'm sure he had a few would-be parkers yelling at him for taking a prime parking spot.

Timing is everything, I suppose.

Ross & Rachel discuss their annulment while Ross drinks a refreshing can of '&W.'

I don't know if the marketing team of this fictional soda is taking suggestions, but I think a good ad campaign for &W sodas would be 'You.' As in "You...&W."

I'm actually kind of glad they don't exist, because they'd see this my suggestion, and they'd steal it. I wouldn't get a single penny for my million dollar idea.

Either way, it should be noted that Ross seems to have brought in an outside beverage into Central Perk.

Book from Firefly/Serenity plays Ross' divorce attorney. From what I can tell, he seems to be pretty good at his job. Not like the judge, portrayed by Conchata Ferrell.

She presided over the Gellar annulment. During the session, Rachel lied about Ross being gay and a drug addict. Neither of this is true. Wouldn't that be perjury? I don't know if they're under oath, but it would seem like lying in a case like this would be, at the very least, lead to a small fine.

Phoebe's reading a magazine. A real magazine. Is it a magazine that Phoebe could conceivably be reading? No, not really. Why would someone who doesn't own a computer—as far as we know—be reading Wired magazine?

Then again, why is it that among six middle-class New Yorkers in their late-20s/early 30s in 1999, only one of them has been established as ever owning a computer?

Ross has to slum it and get a table. The couch is taken. It wasn't established why, but it might be Gunter-related. He found out that about the whole being married to Rachel, and so he didn't save the table for just him. It others were with Ross, then he probably would have shooed that guy away, but not for just Ross.

He would have even sat Chandler there

Even if he showed up in that tie.

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