Saturday, August 1, 2009

Props Guy Has Better Things To Do

Originally Posted 5-23-08

This is how I imagine New York City would look if a scale model of it were to be built on the gas giant Neptune. It would look exactly the same, only with that strangely colored sky. Neptune isn’t exactly that color, but it’s important to stress that this is how I imagine it. Really, it’s kind of a stupid thing to be imagining in the first place, so why even mention it?

It should also be noted that this is the first season where the menu is letterboxed. Why go through the trouble of letterboxing a menu to a show that isn’t letterboxed?

As season three continues to truck along, so does the Gunther storyline.

At this point, Rachel is no longer working at Central Perk, yet Gunther still gets invited to the parties. It’s one thing to invite a co-worker to a party, but an ex-co-worker? He’s not even just a scene-filler here. He pats Monica’s shoulder as he passes, and Monica says “Hey Gunther.” So, there you have it. He’s no longer a guy who lurks in the background.

Although he still does tend to lurk in the background—with his platinum blond hair. Really, Gunther? Platinum Blond? I guess it works if you’re a background guy. Actually, it’s a pretty good idea. If you’re a guy who plays a guy who is in the background as much as he is, platinum blond is probably the way to go. It’s the difference between “There he is,” and “THERE he is.”

I just had a thought. You know how you and your friends have a most likely insulting nickname for that guy who is always around, but isn’t in your inner circle? The friends don’t have one for Gunther. If Gunther was hanging on the outside of my circle, dollars to Krispy Kremes we’d have an awful name for him. We would refer to him with that name when he wasn’t around. I guess these people are nicer than me, because he’s always Gunther. I guess that’s nice for him. That means he’s getting some level of respect.

It’s Thanksgiving, and what better way to celebrate the holiday by pretending to be interested in a sport you’ve never shown interest in before? These guys have gone to Rangers games and Knicks games. Football has yet to be mentioned, yet here they are, heavily invested in the New York Giants Thanksgiving Game. With some light Internet research, I was able to find that the Giants did not play on Thanksgiving. The Cowboys defeated the Redskins and the Chiefs defeated the Lions.

Maybe they're just watching the game from the previous Sunday and it doesn't matter to them because they've never shown interest in football before. Or are they?

Apparently, they are so into football at this point that they decide that they need to play a game themselves.

Luckily, everyone prepared for a Thanksgiving dinner at Monica’s and Rachel’s by bringing a change of clothes on the off-chance that a game of football would break out.

By the way, if ANYONE should be wearing a That Girl shirt, it shouldn’t be Phoebe. It should be Rachel, whose mother is played by Marlo Thomas, aka that That Girl girl.

Being the Monica she is, I find it very difficult to accept the fact that she was willing to leave the kitchen for a period of time while Thanksgiving dinner was cooking to play a game of football. I mean, she is competitive, but she’s also very controlling. You would think she would need to be constantly monitoring what’s going on. I mean, she is a chef; this is what she does. Cooking could also be competitive. There is no way she wants this Thanksgiving dinner to suck. I find it hard to believe that she would easily sacrifice that for a chance at the Gellar Cup.

Here’s something odd. Chandler busts into Monica’s and Rachel’s, as per usual. We’re able to see that across the hall, his apartment’s door is open and all of the lights are off except for one very low light. Joey’s not in the shot, but he had been Monica’s and Rachel’s this whole time. I hope they have renters’ insurance. They're pretty much inviting people to walk in and take whatever foosball table they happen to have.

I’d hate for anything to happen to any of Joey’s wonderful shirts.


Rachel briefly works for a guy played by the guy who later plays Larry David’s father in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, Ross has to sell cookies for a character played by the actress who played George Michael’s girlfriend in Arrested Development—Ann Veal, who was also known as Egg, Ann Hog, and “That Church Thing.” This was also the year after she had played the president’s daughter in Independence Day.

Moving on. I really hate to harp on the subject of phones. I’ll stop harping on it when Monica and Rachel stop getting new phones.

This may be the same phone that was used in most of Season Two, but I don’t think it is. This is just silly. This show doesn’t have a props master. It seems to have a props inept intern.

Readers, I’m sorry if the show’s prop master is, like, your uncle, or something. If so, I think I’ve presented the evidence that your uncle’s mastery of props is severely lacking. I'm sure you'll agree.

I just imagine every few episodes, for whatever reason, the prop phone is removed from the set and thrown into a pile of other phones. Then, when it comes time to get the prop, it’s time to sort through the phone pile.

“Do you need a picture of the phone that we used?”
“No, I’m fine. I got it.”

Five minutes later

“Wasn’t the phone gray?”
“Uhh, no.”
“You sure?”
“You questioning my props mastery is an insult to myself, my ancestors and my descendants.”
“Oh. Sorry to insult all of those people.”

Richard is back, and his cell phone is huge!

Wait, you guys can’t keep your phones straight, but you throw down the bucks for a neon sign pointing out the porn? I’ve been in enough video stores to know that the room in the back with the curtains is the adult section. I bet the neon dissuades people from going in there. I mean if you’re getting an adult film, you don’t need to advertise the fact by going into the room that is clearly marked with the neon lights. The keyword here is “discreet.”

If you were wondering when Ross adopted the “little wall of hair in the front” look…it’s the middle of Season Three.

Speaking of Ross, he and his male bangs drop in on Rachel at her new job. That’s where it’s revealed that Rachel and her co-worker are wearing the exact same outfit. I think this is to allow for Ross to get confused. For this we're assuming that Ross had seen Rachel before work and remembered what she was wearing. I guess this is possible. Unlikely, but possible.

I have worked in offices where if you were to dare show up to work wearing a similar color scheme as a co-worker, someone else will say something annoying like, “Oh, did you two call each other this morning?” That’s the same color scheme. Imagine the bullshit these two had to put up with for showing up in the same exact outfit.

I wonder about people who make comments like that. I can’t think of any reason why I would call one of my co-workers before I was about to spend eight hours with him or her. If there were to be some sort of emergency where I would need to do this, I would imagine the subject of clothing would not come up. If it were to come up, I imagine the conversation would take a turn. “Oh, you’re wearing blue with black pants? I was planning on wearing blue with black pants. Let me change, because you know someone in the office is going to say something stupid like, ‘Oh, you guys got the memo?’ and I don’t want to have to explain to that person that the company has better things to do with its resources than to issue memos announcing its employees’ wardrobe plans.”

If Monica had seen what I had seen Rachel do, Monica would have her own place again.

Rachel, after eating something, licks her fingers and then very clearly wipes them on the couch cushion. In addition to being competitive and controlling, Monica’s also extremely neat. She would not like to hear that her roommate is constantly eating, licking her fingers and then wiping them on the couch. Rachel would be out on the street that night.

One last note.

I have this same exact tie. I don’t wear it anymore, but only because I don’t have to wear ties anymore. If I still wore ties, I’d still wear that one. I wouldn’t let the fact that it was seen on Friends 11 years ago—therefore, possibly not in fashion anymore—stop me.

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