Saturday, August 1, 2009

Trading Spaces

Originally Posted 6-24-08

Ohh-ee-ohh that extra's dressed like Buddy Holly.
Ohh ohh, and I don't understa-and why...

Joey and Chandler have settled into their new apartment.

The ever-present box of Love That Crunch and the six-pack of Pilsner Urquell have made the move across the hall. I'm beginning to think that Chandler doesn't drink Pilsner Urquell, because that six-pack has been there for a long time, untouched. Maybe someone brought him the six-pack at a party at least two years back, and he just doesn't like it. Either that, or Chandler drinks it so often that he always has a six-pack on top of the fridge, and who knows how much in the fridge.

I'm not really buying that last theory, because we've never seen him with a bottle of the Pilsner Urquell. He might just keep the beer on the fridge, because the Yoo-hoo takes up so much space in the fridge.

Both microwaves were also moved. They didn't bother mounting one of them as it was in the other apartment. Speaking of the other apartment:

Hey, look, there it is. If you compare the picture from when the guys lived in this apartment, there is now a paper towel holder mounted where the microwave was. When the microwave was there, the paper towels were below the microwave. Someone, for some reason, raised the mounted paper towel holder what looks like less than a foot. It was on the tile, now it's above the tile.

Why would they do that? Again, I pose this question in both the fictional world and the real world. Why would Monica—I would assume Rachel would less apt to make changes like that—go through the trouble of drilling holes in the wall for a slight change in paper towel retrieval? Doesn't that leave the tile with holes in it?

And what about the set designers of the show? Did they really think it was necessary to move that? I mean, someone on the staff had to take down and remount a paper towel holder less than a foot. It just seems silly. Again, holes in the tile.

Now that the guys have the nice apartment, they're the ones who have to have the lamest party ever.

True, this was an impromptu party that was Rachel's clever rouse to keep the sitcom plodding along, so they weren't able to get the normal full roster of extras we've never seen before. Gunther's there, though. It's not a party unless Gunther is there. Take Gunther out of that picture, and it's the six friends, one of the friend's girlfriends, and a guy who one of the friends is trying to date. That's no party. Why else would they conceivably invite Gunther to their apartment?

For some reason, I had it in my head that Ross's British girlfriend, Emily, was played by Emily Mortimer, who was in Match Point, Lars and the Real Girl, and who played Jack Donaghy's one-time fiancĂ©e on 30 Rock. Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Emily is played by someone else—someone that I wouldn't recognize anywhere else.

And then there's Tate Donovan, another real-life boyfriend of an actress appearing in the show. Before Brad Pitt was with Angelina Jolie, he was with Jennifer Aniston, and before Jennifer Aniston was with Brad Pitt, she was with Tate Donovan, or Hercules. Not to put down Tate Donovan. Truth be told, I can't really stand Jolie. And I can watch SpaceCamp anytime.

I'd have to say, since the first season, the clothing had gotten less ridiculous. In fact, off the top of my head, I can't recall too many ridiculous uses of fabric. I'd think that as we got closer to modern times, there wouldn't be too many "what are they wearing?" instances. Then, in one swoop, Chandler proves me wrong.

I mean, 1998 doesn't really stick out in my mind as a particularly bad year for fashion. It was a great year for swing music, so it was a bad year for music, but I can't really say I remember that spilling over to fashion.

True story, the file name I gave to the first picture was "Goodlord.png," because that's what I said out loud when I saw that shirt. Just think, that file name could have been "Seriouslychandlerwtf.png."

Okay, let's give Chandler the benefit of the doubt. He just moved. Maybe he hasn't settled in yet, and his regular clothes are irretrievable, and he's been unable to get around to finding his non-silly clothing.

This is, however, unacceptable.

It looks like a regular polo shirt, right? Check out the logo. That's a Big Dogs shirt. I find it hard to believe that Chandler would ever step foot in a Big Dogs store. and it's even harder to fathom wanting to give this company any money.

I have a friend who, years ago, was dating someone who worked at a Big Dogs store. I was with him when he went to pick her up at work. We were early, so I had some time to look around.

I'm unable to take things from their Web site and post it here, but I can talk you through some items available.

For starters, there's a shirt that reads "While you were reading this...I farted."

This just makes me feel bad for the wife, girlfriend or mother of the person who is wearing this. Put the kybosh on this. You don't deserve to be seen in public with someone who would willingly wear this shirt in public. You deserve better. Either dump the shirt, or dump the guy. And if it's your son, and you can't get him to stop wearing it, then there's nothing I can really say except you're most probably raising your kid to be an asshole.

If it's undergarments you're interested in, how about a nice embroidered 100% cotton pair of boxes. On the leg is a portrait on a wall. Down the fly reads, "Well-Hung."

Yeah, Big Dogs is all about shit like that.

My point is that Big Dogs is very clear on who they're marketing to: ages 11-15, be it the customer is physically that age, or just stuck in that age well into adulthood.

While Chandler would definitely be classified as a man-child—as could most men, including myself—he's not a fart and dick humor man-child. He's more of a "have an ever-foosball table as a kitchen table" sort of man-child.

Phoebe, in her continuing quest to push the boundaries with Central Perk's management is through with bringing animals into the establishment, and has brought in loud disruptive instruments. True, she's brought in her guitar, even when she's not scheduled for a gig. Drums, seem to be a much bigger "Eff you" to patrons who want to enjoy a quiet night at the coffeehouse.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a wider shot, showing her play the drums, yet no one—NO ONE—turns around to see where the loud noises are coming from. I'm left to assume that the couch area is actually a sound-proof force field. People can enter and exit it easily, but when it comes to sound—no, wait, I'm remembering specific instances where people have overheard things through this theoretical sound wall. Nevermind.

To get rid of Janice, Chandler tells her that he will be moving to Yemen. That backfires, and she takes him to the airport, where we learn that his airline of choice is Yemen Express, and not Yemenia, the actual national airline of The Republic of Yemen. Of course, Yemenia doesn't actually fly to and from the U.S., but Yemen Express clearly does, otherwise why would they have a desk at JFK airport?

I wonder why Phoebe is holding the whole box of Nabisco Premium saltines. It would just seem easier to walk around with an individual sleeve. Less rummaging involved with that plan.

This is weird, only because they're not doing it yet. If they were doing it, this would make sense. I can't imagine sharing a chair with a plutonic female friend. Anyone walking into this room would see them and assume they're doing it. Not at that instant, but earlier that day, or will be later in the evening.

I can see this happening. Ross goes to the fridge. He looks past the soda and the purple stuff and goes right to the Sunny D.

No comments: